Just read a thought provoking article which answers the question, "Do we need to protect our sons from selfies?" It is about a mother who wanted to keep her teenage son from seeing suggestive selfies from teenage girls. What is a Christian parent to do? This mother decided to cut off Internet privileges. The discussion that followed was as fascinating as the article itself.
The discussion devolved into a rambling "who's fault is it". It seemed several commenters had bought into the world view that there is no difference between male and female. Ignoring the difference is to turn away from what's before your eyes. We are different. In Genesis is says that 'male and female He created them'. Adam was blown away when God presented the new partner to him. Gen. 2:20-23 This was the companion Adam had needed. Science has shown that male and female brains develop differently in the womb. However, the 'no difference' reasoning posits females and males are equally visually stimulated by sensual pictures of the opposite sex.
'Teen Beat' glam shots were equated with Playboy and or soft porn, including TV, advertising, and movies. I think that pornography is a predominantly male 'hobby'. (I realize there is a quantitative difference between Victoria Secret TV specials and sex act videos.) If there was a way to count the number of porn sites (hard core or soft) on the Internet and link to the sex of the viewers of the same porn, the vast majority would be male purveyors and male viewers - probably 10 to 1. Now, most males would admit that the models and actresses in the media are a fantasy. There is no chance to EVER have sex with these super-models or actresses. But there is the dream. Likewise, most females KNOW they have no chance of a relationship with the hot new boy toy - but there is the dream.
One of the problem with suggestive selfies is that the boy and girl often know each other - same school, same classes, same grade, etc. Relationship is already established. Now she has offered herself via the selfie. The fantasy is ratcheted up to a possibility.
None of this is to blame the girl, or the boy. It is both their fault. It is the parent's fault for not teaching the daughter the immorality of offering to have sex (or the hint of an offer). It is the parent's fault for not teaching the boy that sex outside of marriage is immoral - a sin. God has told us, through Paul's writing 1 Cor. 6:16, that sex between a man and woman is not just a physical act. It goes to the soul of the people involved. Our children live immersed in sex as an outgrowth of the 'sexual revolution' that started in the 60's. Free marriage, free sex - remember 'If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with'? The moral climate of our society has not improved over the years. What was once known to be immoral, even though people did it anyway, is now considered by the world to be okay. Unfortunately, the church has not stood up firmly enough against the immoral behavior. What was once considered to be the norm, or at least morally correct - sex in marriage only - is now an oddity. Some church members have failed in these areas. Even though there are church members that fail does not mean the church should abandon the teachings of the scripture.
What is the solution?
Teach your children well. We cannot go to the girl's home and demand her parents to stop her from sending selfies. (Well, we could, but it would probably be counter-productive.) We can talk with our daughters and teach them about being modest, chaste, proper. This is not really sex-ed, but closely related to it.
Can we stop our sons from seeing the selfies? The ubiquity of social media works against that proposal. We must talk with our sons and teach them that Godly men, followers in spirit and truth, do not indulge in this activity. Warn them they will be mocked and teased, perhaps persecuted when they stand for what is right. 1 Peter 4:1-5
There is no easy solution. There is work to be done in our families, in our churches. We must rely on the power of God to lead us, teach us, and give us strength to be strong in the faith. If you have failed to live up to the scriptural teachings, do not throw yourself overboard. Repent and confess to the Lord you have failed, so you may be cleansed. 1 John 1;8-9 You can use this life-lesson. Share how it has affected you in your relationships with others and with the Lord. Share how repentance and forgiveness work to make you a better person than you thought you could be.
Monday, May 23, 2016
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